Concerning my solo....

I think that we are constantly trying to compare our teachers to Mr. Yoder. And we just really can't do that anymore because nobody is going to measure up. He was really just something special... And I'm afraid that the only way we'll get a teacher like him is if we get another gay teacher. I doubt they will be hiring another any time soon, and if they do, we'll be able to tell just like we could for him. It took me awhile and a lot of thought to realize this... I knew that I needed to accept Mr. Powell for who he was and not for who I thought he should be. Yes... Orchestra is different. But people are going to walk in and out of our lives though out our 100 years, whether we want them to go or not. It's sad... but after awhile you have to decide when you're going to go on. I let him go a really long time ago.

I don't believe Mr. P dislikes you for any of those reasons... I don't think that it matters whether you take lessons with the school or the college or who you take them with... when, or for how long. He just said that I was going to be the guinea pig and that he may end up adding people so that it's more than just me playing. Honestly, I really hope he does because I'm not sure I can do this alone AND three times. I just think he might know me a little bit better than you right now, and seeing that ISSMA is what, two weeks away, he needed someone who he knew he could depend on and fast.

Don't give up, girly.